But then there were those early years where the Internet was new and exciting and... kind of limited, actually. I recall spending hours at a time busying up the phone line to mess around on the computer, but... what was I doing?
These days, my
|Check ALL the websites!|
♠ Yahoo and other horrible news sites (where every news article ends with that hard hitting journalistic phrase "What do YOU think about Hillary Clinton's new hair? Sound off in the comments!" and as if that's not bad enough you scroll down only to observe the very very worst in humanity, from racists and homophobes to that 50-year-old woman who really wants you to find out how she made $67 an hour sitting at home while losing enough belly fat in a month to look 25 using one weird old amazing tip)
♠ Entertainment news sites (which remind you will you never be famous (unless you're either more beautiful and/or talented than 98% of the human race OR are a horrible, horrible person)
♠ Twitter (which only dashes your hopes and dreams in the end because you get all excited to follow your favorite celebs and then you realize that said celebs don't know the difference between your and you're or they constantly retweet their minions' compliments (#humblebragging) or worst of all, they do nothing but retweet another Twitter feed you already follow)
♠ Tumblr (endless GIFs because the only way of expressing one's self anymore are GIFs. Writing in your diary? OVERRATED. Now you can just post a picture of a baby sloth looking sad and everyone totally knows how you feel)
♠ Pinterest (see former blog posts for how Pinterest has forevermore ruined my expectations of how everything I own should look)
♠ Amazon (my bank account is sad. As are all the Borders stores that closed last year)
♠ Facebook (which is basically the worst. Ever. And yet the best of all)
♠ Google Reader (because there's no better timewaster than reading every blog ever written, from that random guy with whom you went to college but probably doesn't remember that you even exist, to every blog that Rolling Stone recommended as the Best Blog Ever because that is totally why a person reads Rolling Stone: for blog tips)
And so on, and so forth.
But when I think back to my high school days, say, my freshman year beginning in 1998, I still used the web, but almost exclusively on these sites:
|My site looked a little sumthin' like this.|
♠ my Geocities Rent fan page (it was killer, okay. I could have been a web designer)
♠ Playbill.com chat room (I wonder if chat rooms exist anymore! Other than where people go to find someone to hook up. We legitimately just talked about theatre at Playbill. I think.)
♠ Um... I can't think of anything else.
Seriously. Seriously. What was I spending my time on in 2002? Some of the sites I still look at today existed back then, but I don't recall spending much time on them. What does a person do without Instagram and Facebook and every other Super Cool You're Nobody If You Don't Have It social networking site/app? (Is "apps" the stupidest word ever or is it just me?)
I can only conclude that back then, I must have spent all my time writing college application essays and emailing long, Victorian Era-esque letters to all my beloveds. To them I say: you're welcome.
These days all I have to do is send you a GIF of a baby sloth. The sentiment is the same.